Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
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