Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Randomize
