girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
I was not drunk enough for that final.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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