You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
Im part way to drunk.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
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