it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
