In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
