you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
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