dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
