eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
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