Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
