This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Randomize
