I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
Randomize
