pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
It was a blind-side dick pic.
i now understand why vodka
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
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