We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
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