can we get nightvision for the apartment?
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
