So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
Heard at work: Get out of my face before I cuntpunch you so hard your granddaughters have miscarriages. I love my job.
I'm moving there. Get me hired.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
Randomize
