Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
you made out with another girl for some wings
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
This couple is walking their pig around campus
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
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