nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
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