Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
this beer tastes like vomit already
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
