i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
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