im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
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