I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
Randomize
