she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
Randomize
