Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Randomize
