Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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