Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
Randomize
