just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
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