In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Randomize
