He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
