I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
if only i could text you this smell
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
Randomize
