i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
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