i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
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