so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
