I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
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