Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
Randomize
