Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
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