i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
Randomize
