I never want to see another naked old woman again.
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
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