I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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