if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
