So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
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