Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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