just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
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