took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
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