So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
