Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Randomize
