we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
