some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
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