therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
Randomize
