oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
Randomize
