You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
