it hurts more in the daytime
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
Randomize
