Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
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