so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
meet me or not, i'm out of control
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
Randomize
