His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
Randomize