My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
