I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
Randomize
