Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
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