I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Randomize
