Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
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