Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
She's just so happy...and so naked.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
