woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
Randomize
