I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Randomize
