Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
i will never coherently bang her
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
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